My Journey as a Black Trainee in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

Embarking on a journey to become a psychodynamic psychotherapist has been a transformative experience for me—one that has challenged me in ways I never expected, but also deepened my understanding of myself and my culture. As the only black person in my training cohort, I’ve experienced firsthand how crucial representation and inclusivity are in this field. I’ve faced moments of doubt and isolation, but as I’ve explored the theories and concepts of psychodynamic psychotherapy, I’ve come to realise how essential this therapy is, especially for people of colour and for black people.

When I first started the training, I often questioned whether I truly belonged in this space. Psychodynamic training, deeply rooted in Western traditions, can feel distant from the lived experiences of black individuals and people of colour. There were many moments where I felt like an outsider, wondering if this was the right path for me and questioning if I truly belonged there. The course material, the discussions, and even the historical context of the theories sometimes felt foreign, as if they didn’t reflect the reality of the world I come from.

Being the only black trainee in the room compounded these feelings. I found myself wondering if I had to reshape my identity or quiet my voice to fit in. Was this training really for me? Did I belong in a space that didn’t seem to include my experiences or reflect my cultural background?

There were times when I seriously considered leaving. The emotional weight of being the “only one” in the room and navigating a space that didn’t seem designed for me was challenging. But I pressed on, curious to explore the deeper layers of psychodynamic thinking. As I did, I began to uncover something that shifted my perspective entirely.

I’ve come to see how cultural experiences—both the joys and the traumas—are embedded in the unconscious mind and influence the way we relate to ourselves and others.

What sets psychodynamic psychotherapy apart from other therapeutic approaches is its deep interest in the past, the unconscious mind, and our defensive mechanisms. It’s a therapy that doesn’t just treat surface symptoms but aims to understand the root causes of our emotional struggles. It encourages us to explore how our early life experiences, often buried deep in the unconscious, shape who we are today and how we relate to others.

As I began to engage more deeply with the material, I realised how relevant psychodynamic therapy is for people of colour. Our experiences, especially the trauma of systemic racism, discrimination, and generational struggles, often go unaddressed and can deeply affect our unconscious. These past experiences shape our defensive mechanisms—ways we protect ourselves from emotional pain that we may not even be fully aware of. Psychodynamic therapy offers a space to explore these layers of trauma, both personal and collective, and to begin healing from them.

The more I explored the theories, the more I began to see how important this work is for individuals and communities who have historically been marginalised. It offers a profound opportunity to bring unconscious patterns to light and to challenge the internalised narratives that have been passed down through generations of oppression and struggle. This therapy is not just for individuals; it’s for communities that need healing on a deeper level.

Psychodynamic psychotherapy has helped me in ways that I find hard to put into words. Through this training, I’ve been able to explore my own past, my upbringing, and the cultural forces that have shaped me. I’ve confronted defensive mechanisms I didn’t even know I had ways I’ve been protecting myself emotionally, often unconsciously, as I navigated the challenges of being a black person in predominantly white spaces.

This process has not only helped me understand myself better, but it has also widened my understanding of my culture. I’ve come to see how cultural experiences—both the joys and the traumas—are embedded in the unconscious mind and influence the way we relate to ourselves and others. Psychodynamic therapy has given me a framework to explore these dynamics and to appreciate the complexity of the black experience in ways that go beyond the surface.

I dream of a future where more black students and people of colour pursue psychodynamic training, where our voices are not just present but central to the evolution of this field.

This type of introspection has been deeply healing for me. It has offered me insights into my own emotional patterns, helping me to break cycles of behaviour that no longer serve me. But beyond that, it has equipped me with the tools to help others from my community do the same. The more I engage with this work, the more I recognise how powerful it can be in addressing the psychological wounds that many people of colour carry, often unconsciously.

Despite the challenges I’ve faced, I genuinely enjoy my training. The theories are fascinating, and the depth of the work continues to inspire me. However, it’s also clear to me that we need more black trainees in psychodynamic psychotherapy. Representation is not just a nice-to-have—it’s essential for the growth and inclusivity of this field.

When there are more black voices in the room, the conversation changes. More perspectives are brought in, and the richness of the collective experience deepens. For too long, psychodynamic therapy has been seen as a space for a certain demographic—white, middle-class individuals who fit a specific mold. But this work is for everyone, and the more diverse our practitioners are, the more inclusive and effective therapy becomes.

I dream of a future where more black students and people of colour pursue psychodynamic training, where our voices are not just present but central to the evolution of this field. The unique experiences we bring—our understanding of culture, trauma, resilience, and identity—are invaluable. They are the missing pieces that can help psychodynamic therapy become a tool for healing in underrepresented communities.

My journey as the only black trainee in my program has not been easy, but it has been incredibly rewarding. I’ve grown in ways I never expected, both personally and professionally. I’ve discovered the power of psychodynamic therapy, not just for myself, but for the communities I hope to serve. It has deepened my empathy, broadened my perspective, and given me the tools to facilitate deep healing.

As I continue this journey, I am committed to seeing more black trainees in this field. I want to see a future where psychodynamic psychotherapy is accessible, relevant, and inclusive for all people, especially those who have been historically excluded from the conversation.

This therapy is a gift, one that can help individuals and communities heal from the wounds of the past and build a healthier, more empowered future. I am honoured to be part of this journey, and I hope to inspire others to join me in making psychodynamic therapy a truly inclusive space for healing and growth for all.

By Ugo Chijiutomi