How Couples Psychotherapy Can Transform Relationships 

While divorce rates have fallen in recent years, a considerable number of married/civil partnered couples are still applying for a divorce. Maintaining a healthy relationship is undeniably important and it can contribute to both adult and child mental health, so more couples are booking therapy sessions to help them overcome relationship difficulties. Couple psychotherapy has become an essential tool for couples looking to navigate the complex dynamics of their relationships and strengthen their bond. 

Or it may be that couples need help to separate and this is also something which can be worked on in couple therapy. Supported by robust evidence, couple psychotherapy can be incredibly effective at not just resolving conflicts, but creating a deep, lasting connection between partners, one where each partner has space to develop and be themselves, without feeling suffocated or trapped. 

Understanding Couples Psychotherapy

By couple relationship, we mean the diverse range of adult partnerships, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, cultural identity, family formation, living together or apart, with or without children, and throughout the life cycle. 

Couple psychotherapy involves working in-depth with an experienced therapist to explore the problems within a relationship. Unlike couples counselling, or behavioural couple therapy, which typically focuses on resolving immediate issues that instigated the need for therapy, psychodynamic psychotherapy explores the underlying causes which drive the couple’s difficulties. It explores how unconscious aspects of the personality and unresolved conflicts can impact some of the relationship problems couples have and lead to a greater understanding between them. Using a contemporary psychodynamic approach, and taking in to account the diverse nature of relationships as well as society more widely, the type of therapy offered at the BPF is highly relevant for the complexities of today’s world.  

This form of therapy also recognises the diversity of adult partnerships. Psychodynamic psychotherapy can benefit all kinds of relationships regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, marital and relationship status. Relationship therapy can help couples whether they’re living together or apart and whether or not they have children. Evidence shows, and it is our experience clinically, that couples benefit from psychotherapy at all different stages of the life cycle. This is perhaps particularly relevant with an ageing population, where couple psychotherapy has been shown to greatly benefit couples’ overall health as they age. For many people, seeking couple therapy is often the only way they can approach getting help, making it a versatile approach to improving relational health. 

Benefits of Couple Psychotherapy 

Working with an experienced psychotherapist can be incredibly rewarding. Although it can be a difficult process, sticking with therapy sessions can provide profound and lasting change for you as a couple and as individuals.

• Enhanced Communication – One of the main benefits of couples psychotherapy is the impact it has on communication between partners. During therapy sessions, couples learn how to express their thoughts and feelings, and listen to each other more attentively. This can lead to a better understanding of each other’s needs and expectations, helping to prevent future relationship issues.  

• Emotional Understanding – By addressing deep-rooted problems, couples psychotherapy helps partners gain a better understanding of each other’s personalities, life experiences, traumatic times, and how these may be impacting their relationship. This can improve emotional intimacy, as partners feel safer and more valued in the relationship, knowing their partner understands the deeper layers of their personality.  

• Conflict Resolution – Therapy provides couples with the capacity to tolerate differences and to manage and resolve conflicts in a much healthier way. This doesn’t mean that partners should agree, rather that they have psychic space to allow the other to be different and unique, even if at times this can be frustrating. Psychotherapists help couples identify underlying causes of relationship issues and work with them to address these. This not only resolves existing conflicts but also equips them with the skills to handle future disagreements more constructively. 

• Personal Growth and Development – Couples psychotherapy isn’t just beneficial for the relationship, it also promotes personal growth. As individuals explore their own personalities and roles within the relationship, they gain insights into their thoughts, feelings and behaviours. By making conscious changes, individuals can also improve their relationships with themselves and develop a greater sense of identity within the relationship. A unique feature of the powerful effects of couple therapy is that it helps both individuals, as well as their relationship, and often the children where applicable.  

• Long-term Relationship Stability – By addressing the root causes of conflicts and creating a deeper understanding between partners, couple psychotherapy can lead to more stable and satisfying relationships. This stability can have a ripple effect, positively impacting the well-being of any children in the family, or other family members in an extended family or chosen families, and contributing to an overall healthier household environment. 

Finding the Right Therapist 

The success of couples psychotherapy relies heavily on finding the right therapist. It’s beneficial to consider everything from a therapist’s qualifications to their therapeutic approach when booking therapy sessions. It’s also important to find someone you feel comfortable sharing intimate details of your life and relationship with. Personal compatibility can help to improve your working alliance too and make it easier to stick with therapy when it gets more difficult.  

Not all psychotherapists are trained in couples therapy either, so be sure to carefully read a therapist’s profile when deciding which professional is best to support you and your partner on this part of your journey together as a couple. Unfortunately, there is very little couple therapy in the NHS, and most services are private, however the BPF does offer low-fee couple therapy.

Booking Couples Psychotherapy in London  

Couples psychotherapy can be an effective way to transform your relationship, but changes won’t happen overnight. It’s important to get the right support from an experienced couples therapist and continue to work through your relationship difficulties even when therapy sessions get hard. There is absolutely no shame in getting some help when you need it and by doing so, you can improve your life as well as the lives of your family members. To start working with a couple psychotherapist you can enquire about our low fee couple therapy scheme or view our directory of qualified members. At the British Psychotherapy Foundation, we make it easier to find a therapist that suits your needs and budget by providing an online directory of BPF members. Should you have any questions about our therapists, don’t hesitate to contact us, you can even book a consultation with our specialist team to find the right therapist.